Maternity Leave Denied

Hi all! Apologies this will be long, I’ll try to TLDR it.

Running this through this subreddit to see if I have any grounds here. Please no judgment for my situation.

Back story: conceived in August. At 9 weeks, had a very large hemorrhage and anticipated miscarriage. Placed on bed rest. Attempted a leave per my drs recommendation but was denied by the company that facilitates leaves for my company as it is “a normal pregnancy symptom”. I dropped it and continued to work. I hemorrhage again at 11 weeks and this lasted on and off until 16 weeks. I continued to work.

At just shy of 19 weeks my water broke unexpectedly, we were told we would deliver within 24-72 hours and baby would pass. I took that day off and went back the next at which time it was discussed with my manager and HR that I would use the rest of my vacation time through end of the year (this happened mid-December).

By some miracle my guy made it and I decided to go back to work at the beginning of the year to preserve my time off and Fmla. I ended up being hospitalized at 23 weeks and brought my laptop and worked.

It’s important to note here that because of when we ruptured we knew the odds were stacked against us and IF our son made it through birth and was resuscitated we would have a very long NICU stay.

I delivered at almost 28 weeks, he was healthier than expected but he was intubated and incubated with at least a 3 month stay.

Because of all of this, I discussed with my manager, director, a representative in HR and our leave facilitator and was told I could take my leave at any time within the first year of his life which gave me the chance to actually bond once released from the hospital. Another thing to add, my company offers 4 months paid maternity and paternity leave with concurrent FMLA up to 6 months. I have been there 10 years and this is my first ever LOA and child.

Because of the info I was given, I went back to work almost immediately. I moved to a Ronald McDonald and worked 8 hours then spent 4-6 hours in the NICU and I did this for 82 days until he was released.

He’s now home, I started my maternity leave and it was denied because there is a note buried deep in policy that it has to be started within 15 days of delivering and the explanation I was given was because “women need to heal” ????

I have received apologies from everyone now who steered me wrong but told nothing they can do. My only options are to take an unpaid leave (I was just hospitalized and so was he, we have thousands in medical debt) or go back to work. He’s been home 3 weeks and is on oxygen, with a lung disease, and can’t go to day care until he is 2.

Do I have any recourse here? I am beside myself. Just because my pregnancy wasn’t the same as the thousands they see I am being stripped of my bonding time. My heart is broken. I thought I was doing the best thing for my boy by preserving my time to spend with him. Is there any recourse to prompt the company to change policy? My situation is definitely not standard and I wish it on no one in the future but surely there should be some exceptions.

TLDR; 19 weeks on bed rest, 5 hospitalized, micro preemie with 82 day Nicu stay discharged on oxygen with lung disease. Worked through it all. Now company is denying paid maternity leave.

Thanks for reading it all! And again, please be nice! Emotions are high.