Court Took My Baby From Me 2 Weeks Postpartum

location: new jersey

Hi everyone, I’m really struggling right now and could use some advice or even just a little support.

I’m 23, a first-time mom. I didn’t even know I was pregnant until about five months in — I was bleeding throughout my pregnancy and was considered high-risk. Because of all the stress and anxiety, I went into early labor unexpectedly and had my baby at 36 weeks and 6 days (he was due a month later).

I’ve dealt with mental health issues for a long time. I overthink everything, get overwhelmed, and my partner and I were constantly arguing instead of working together. After my C-section, I just wanted peace for me and my son. My partner’s mom and I weren’t close, but I called her one day because I needed space from him. That turned out to be the worst decision I’ve ever made.

She picked me up, and everything started moving too fast. She and her son already had a rocky relationship, and I think she misunderstood my situation. I wasn’t planning to move in with her — I just needed a break and was planning to talk to my own mom (we hadn’t spoken in a year). But then she and my partner argued, and he said something that made her angry. After that, she went to court and told lies to get temporary custody of my baby.

She told the judge I wasn’t feeding him, that I had nowhere to go, and that me and my boyfriend were unfit. None of that was true. I had places to stay — my mom, my stepmom, and my dad’s house. My baby was eating well, gaining weight, and my hospital discharge papers didn’t say anything bad. Still, the judge gave her temporary custody until they inspect homes.

Since then, visiting my baby has been awful. She criticizes everything I do as a new mom. I can’t even hold him without her controlling everything. One day, things got heated — she strangled me and shoved me into a wall while someone was holding my baby. When I later told her how it made me feel, she said she’d “do it again.”

Now she’s acting like she has full custody. She put my baby on her job’s insurance, scheduled a circumcision I didn’t agree to, and even started looking for private schools — and he’s only a few months old. She tells people I’m unfit because of my mental health, even though I’m in therapy, transferring my college credits, and applying for a remote medical job so I can care for my son full-time.

The hardest part is my family barely gets to see my baby — she’s isolated him from everyone on my mom’s side. And on top of everything, she verbally abuses me, calls me names, and says things like she’s “more of a mom” than I am.

Even my therapist said it sounds like she’s trying to take my baby permanently. My son’s grandmother even told me, “I’ll always have access to my daughter’s kids, but you’re not my daughter,” which broke my heart.

The first hearing was in August on Zoom. The next one was two weeks ago, and I only found out it was in person the day before, while she had notice days earlier. She has a lawyer — I don’t — and now I have to somehow afford one just to fight for my child.

I haven’t visited as often lately because I feel unsafe at her house after the assault, but I still went even after she strangled me. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I failed as a mom and as a person, and now I’m stuck in a legal mess I don’t deserve.

If anyone’s been through something like this or knows what steps I can take next, please let me know. I just want my baby back and to feel like myself again.