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Abused Best Friend Needs A Way Out

(TW: SA, Grooming, Domestic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Child Neglect.)

My best friend (27F) has been married to a man (60 M) for nearly 10 years, and now she feels trapped. While they got married when she was 18, and he was 50, they were together for sometime before then. I’m not sure how long, or how they met, only that she was perused while 16 or 17 by a middle aged man. Now, 10 years later, she recognizes that she was manipulated, and is actively being emotionally abused, humiliated, fetishized and manipulated. But it gets worse.

They have three kids together, all girls and all elementary age (obviously). He wanted none of them, but got her pregnant at 18 to force her into staying with him. On paper, he provides for their material needs (clothes, food, shelter, etc.) but neglects them emotionally, and treats them just like he treats his wife. To make matters worse, he monitors them 24/7 with home cameras that only he has access to, only some of which my best friend (his wife) knows about. One of these cameras is in the bedroom, where he ADMITTEDLY keeps video footage of their sexual encounters “in case she tries to leave him”. To be clean, all sexual encounters are non-consensual as are the recordings.

Even if he doesn’t hit them, I pray that there is some way that they can divorce him without her losing custody or losing her home. She doesn’t know what to do, and is to scared to try, but I’m hoping there is some kind of out or hope for her. She made a mistake at 18, but that shouldn’t be allowed to destroy her entire life.

Is grooming illegal? What is the statute of limitations on grooming? Is it illegal to have babies you don’t want so you can trap somebody? How do you address someone keeping sexual content of you without your permission? This whole situation is royally screwed up, and he’s getting away with all of it. Put plainly, how can she divorce this grooming piece of human garbage as quickly as possible? (State is Alabama).

submitted by /u/Puddles1705
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Abused Best Friend Needs A Way Out

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