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Stuck In Australia, Is There Anything I Can Do?

Dear community,

I am reaching out in an anonymous way because I am aware that what I feel is probably not what I as a parent should feel. I will briefly describe my background without too much detail and would hope that you kindly could share your view of the situation. I am an Italian girl who went as a backpacker to Australia when I was 20. I had left my boyfriend behind as we went through a rough patch and I, in the silliness and irresponsible nature a 20 year old has, I met someone over 20 years older than me. We ended up having two kids together in a small amount of time. They are now growing up and I and this man have not been together for many years. I am all alone in Australia and I am desperate to go back to my family and my husband that I reconnected with when my brief stint with this Australian man ended. I am aware of being stuck in Australia because of my two kids and I always thought I’d see it through until they were eighteen. Now I am suffering from something intensely painful as I am travelling back and forth to Europe and then again find myself in Australia all alone, taking care of the kids and working but feeling like I am not living. I hope it makes sense. My children are now 11 and 8. I wonder at what age I could possibly leave them with their father at longer intervals than the two weeks I now am doing. (11 months in Australia / 1 month in Europe per year) When my oldest child is 15 and my youngest 12, would it be possible for me to divide my time 9 months in Australia and 3 months in Europe? Or would that be too long for them to be without me? I just cannot live like this for any longer because I also want to continue to “live” with my husband and my family in Europe. I have lost so many years that I will not get back with my grandparents, all my siblings etc. It is not an option to move the kids as my ex husband refuse and I will have to respect that. For now I have the kids five days a week and he sees them two days. Any suggestions or insights would be so appreciated.

Location: Australia / Italy

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Stuck In Australia, Is There Anything I Can Do?

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