My Partner Unintentionally Caught Our House On Fire And All Of My Stuff Is Gone, He Won’t Give Me Money Because It’s His House. Help

My partner caught the house on fire while I was out of state for a work trip. He constantly hit his bong then dumps the still hot ash into the garbage can, I’ve been complaining about this for years and have been told I’m overreacting. Well this time he did this, dumped it into the garbage can, then left to our neighbor to watch the lions game(we’re in MI) in end of January. When he came home his whole office was on fire. Firefighters put the fire out but our furnace intake is in the hallway by his office, it took all of the soot and scattered it around the house. For context we live in a one story ranch home where the vents are in the ceiling. His office was torched, it took the ceiling out, broken windows in multiple rooms, even our kitchen window that has a wall in between the entry room. Our dog(whom I’ve had years before we started dating) was luckily at our back side door and survived after being rushed to the animal hospital and put on oxygen.

90% of everything in the house was mine. My partner didn’t care to buy things so I bought everything with my money: couches, bed frame, tables, chairs, rugs, all kitchen supplies, curtains, most TV’s, everything in my office, towels, even some of his clothes, a lot of tools, and even more.

For context we’ve obviously been struggling in our relationship. He’s had money problems in the past and I don’t have a college degree like him so I usually worked lower paying jobs. He prefers more expensive living and has moved us into a lake house before with 5 acres that he told the owner we were going to buy. We couldn’t and COVID hit making things harder so eventually we moved out into an apartment for a year to house hunt for a home lower in price. I got to the point where I wasn’t paying any portion to contribute towards rent because I couldn’t afford it and was struggling to live in the higher income area he wanted to stay in. But I spent most of my money on everything for our house, furniture, food, essentials. He has about 10k saved up while we looked for a home and then randomly decided to spend it on a 7k mountain bike and the rest on junk. He got approved for a USDA home loan which requires nothing down- you just have to pay the closing fees which were around 3k. So once we found our home he didn’t have any money to pay this 3k and my dad ended up gifting it to him so we could get our house. We moved in Oct 2021, I didn’t pay towards the mortgage mainly because of our rocky relationship and the fact that he refused to put my name on the house, it irritated me that I’d be contributing when he wouldn’t put my name on the house. Either way I helped repair a lot of things with my money and bought more items to fill the house.

Now to present day we’re living in a rental his insurance pays for. Insurance gives you 5k right away for essentials and they gave him another 5k around March. The first month in January I was buying most of the replacement items and he was reimbursing me- he probably gave me about $1,000. After awhile I gave up because I was replacing so much I assumed we couldn’t just submit the receipts once insurance was ready to pay us(they have a team come in and document all items and then another team puts the depreciated value).

Well insurance finally gave him 40k and he has been refusing to give me any even though 90% of it is mine. He tells me I can submit 10 receipts to him a week and he’ll reimburse me. Obviously this irritates the hell out of me and we’ve gotten in fights about this where he’s told me I legally wouldn’t be getting anything because we’re not married and the only reason he’s getting money for my items is because our insurance adjuster was being nice.

I’m really stressed by this and need advice. Everything in that house I’ve been working towards and have saved throughout my life. I did not have a well off family like his who sent me to college, I worked hard labor jobs my whole life and have no idea how I’d replace them.