My Dad Broke The Divorce Agreement And Never Saved Up A College Fund, Made Me Think He’d Still Cover It, And Is Now Planning On Throwing It On Me To Pay After Graduating.

The title is a pretty good Tldr;, but for more context- he and my mom got divorced with split custody for my sister and i when i was no more than 2 years old, before my first memory, so as time went on i came to learn he cheated on my mom, and that one of the divorce agreement clauses were that he was supposed to save up a college fund for me and my older sister. my sister never went to college so it wasn’t a problem for her, but when i started considering whether or not i would go to college he never once alluded that it could be a problem financially. Little did i know there was absolutely 0 college fund.

I distinctly remember 2 separate conversations i had with him from 2018-2019 where he told me he would do the same thing for me that his parents did for him which was pay for all his college expenses so he could focus on studying and not worry about being held back in life. PURELY based on this i made the decision to go to college, because truthfully i didn’t need to go to college. i started 3D modeling in 2018, graduated highschool in 2020, started college in 2021 for game art, and graduated at the top of my class in 2023. I was debating for a whole year and a half whether or not i would go to college because i knew i was already on a decent track with my skills and saw going to college purely as an optional boost.

My first hint that something was wrong was when i got an email about a semester being unpaid half way through college and his attitude slowly started to change around tuition. Now after graduation hes told me once im financially stable I’ll be paying off the loans myself. This has lead to a huge demotivation to chase success but i still try to progress my 3D art career while living with my mom.

The last time i had a conversation with him about it was when he last took me out for dinner, it went something like: me: “hey i’ve got a potential opportunity that’ll guarantee a 70k salary minimum”. him: “that’s ok, not a ton but pretty good”. me: “what do you mean that’s way above the average salary today”. him: “well we should make a list of expenses you’ll have to be paying eventually, they add up pretty fast”. me: (knowing where the conversation is going) “okay sure, like what?”. him: “there’s a lot you know” me: “ok name a couple give me a partial breakdown”. him: (after trying to dodge the question further) “oh you know like insurance, student loans, mortgage”. me: (acting like we haven’t talked about it before) “well hold on what do you mean student loans? i thought you said you’d pay for my college expenses so i don’t have to worry about it?”. him: “i did, i paid for your apartment (no dorms campus), and groceries while you were down there”. me: “didn’t your parents pay for your loans?”. him: “we’re not talking about my loans here we’re talking about yours”. me: “right but i just distinctly remember you telling me you’d do the same for me that your parents did for you”. him: “i don’t know what you’re talking about you must’ve dreamed that” (ex-fucking-scuse me!?) me: ok hold on just a sec, i’m going to tell you what i remember from this conversation we had on 2 separate occasions and you can tell me if it’s true or not”. him: (after some back and forth) “ok sure”. me: “your parents paid for your college expenses”. him: “right”. me: “and your parents paid your student loans so you didnt have to worry about it”. (i can’t remember exactly what he said but he got defensive and dodged the question).

so i made sure to remember that and once he dropped me back off at my moms house i asked her if my dad’s parents paid for his student loans and she gave me an immediate definitive yes. Now if i had just dreamed those conversations which were incredibly pivotal in my life, how could i possibly know his financial situation in college? My mom then told me that she’s pretty sure he’s not doing well financially after buying a new building for his plastic surgery practice which was right around half way through my time at college.

VERY IMPORTANT DETAIL

back in 2018 at 16 years old i got my first job at a grocery store and was there for around 4-5 months. during that time he would be complaining about how they’re over working me and im not making enough for my time there. one day there was a college fair he wanted to take me to so i could explore my options (at this point i was pretty sure what college i would go to if i chose to go to one). the college fair was in the morning, ended at 1pm and i had a shift at my then job later that day around 4pm. he told me to call out of work so when i called they said they need me to come in its too short notice, i told him that and he had me call them back and got on the phone himself saying i shouldn’t be working on weekends anyways (that’s when he got the most time with me), so my manager said “well if he can’t be working on weekends then he won’t be working here”. I was shocked. i told him “what the fuck you just got me fired do you even realize that” and his response was something to the effect of “nah it’ll be fine”.

ever since then until i was 18 he wouldn’t let me get another job with set hours so i couldn’t easily save up money for my future what so ever. i had to make the $6k i made at that job last 4 years before it ran out

So, is there grounds to sue?

edit: they’re co-signed private loans as we weren’t eligible for parent plus loans.

again the deal was he does for me as his parents did for him which was pay off his tuition. he got me fired from my first job, refused to apologize, and told me if i get another job then he won’t help pay for college as much. also he “didn’t see a difference in saving with a college fund account vs just saving and paying it”.

i recognize there’s some entitlement but i genuinely wouldn’t have gone to college if he’d been honest with me which he never is.

edit2: he also exposed himself to me, refused to apologize, and said i was the problem.