Mother In Law Has Me Concerned With Recent Actions

Location: Ohio

I could really use some honest guidance or perspective from anyone who’s dealt with toxic or manipulative family situations .

For over a year now, my wife, our kids, and I have been living with my mother-in-law while our home is being remodeled. From the start, she’s treated me differently than everyone else in the household. In the beginning, she was even cold toward my son, though thankfully that has improved over time.

Her behavior toward me, however, has stayed unpredictable…she’ll go from being kind and friendly to suddenly screaming at me (and only me) to get out and never come back, or acting like I don’t exist at all.

It’s a very tense environment. My wife will sometimes express her emotions loudly (stomping around, slamming things, et) and her mom doesn’t say a word. But the few times I’ve shown frustration or stress after being constantly on edge, I’m immediately labeled the problem, told I’m a “waste of space/problem,” and made to feel like I don’t belong.

Recently, I discovered that my mother-in-law has been messaging another man late at night (someone outside the family, and not her long term partner) and saying extremely slanderous things about me. She’s been twisting facts, making false claims that I’m abusive toward my wife or kids, and completely misrepresenting situations. For the record, I have never laid a hand on anyone in that house. I was a victim of sexual and physical abuse as a child, there is a very fine boundary between discipline and abuse and it’s easy to cross. The only physical discipline I’ve used with my children has been within the legal and reasonable limits permitted by JFS (I.e spanking, or light open handed smacks to the hand)

Now, that same man she’s been messaging has started contacting me directly, even reaching out at 12:30 a.m. He’s been incredibly hostile calling me names like “piece of shit,” “bitch,” “man boy,” and accusing me of being a child abuser and woman beater. He’s even mocked the fact that I’m living in my MIL’s home while our own place is under renovation, which he knows nothing about.

This whole situation feels like it’s escalating into something dangerous. I’ve already spoken to local police, and they’ve documented the fragile circumstances here. They even asked if my trailer and property are fully titled in my name… which tells me they’re concerned for me, not just the overall tension.

I’m starting to feel like my mother-in-law might actually try to frame me or manipulate a situation to make it look like I’ve done something I haven’t. The constant disrespect, mood swings, and emotional manipulation are taking a serious toll. I’m trying to stay calm and not react emotionally, but it’s getting harder when I feel isolated and misrepresented.

I love my wife and kids deeply, but I also need to protect myself and them from a situation that’s becoming more unstable. My biggest fear is that my wife won’t draw a line with her mom, and the enmeshment will keep me trapped in this cycle of blame and manipulation.

If anyone has experienced something similar or can offer advice on how to navigate this legally, emotionally, or practically, I would really appreciate your input. I don’t want to make enemies or cause division; I just want peace and to not have the ambiguity anymore