(ca) Daughter’s Father Passed Away, His Home Goes To My Daughter. Advice Needed.

Hopefully this isn’t long and confusing: ** I’m talking to a legal advisor on Tuesday but just trying to get advice everywhere I can…

My daughter’s(10yo) father was killed a few months ago, he was missing for a few months before being declared dead. We have been separated since she was 1 and he had minimal contact with her since then.

My exes mom texted me that her lawyer would be contacting me so that I can sign over my rights and she can take over as executor of his estate since he didn’t have a will. Everything automatically goes to my daughter since she is his only child and therefore me until she is 18. I should mention he and his mother have a pretty strained relationship due to financial issues.

He owes a couple months on his mortgage and his mom has been trying to “save his house” and he also has a lot of work being done due to a house fire… She emphasized that she had been paying to fix the house.

I spoke to his father and I guess they got into an argument because he wanted to sell the home and make a trust for my daughter but they have no rights to the home. He thinks my daughter was his world and would want this for her. His mother also asked his dad to sign the same document for him to sign letting her be executor.

She’s retired and can’t afford the mortgage or property taxes so his dad thinks she will likely fix it up with an equity loan on the property and rent it out and try to pocket the monthly remainder (1k ish) until my daughter is 18. The house is in SoCal, and his loan is pre Covid so she could easily rent it out. I am concerned because she doesn’t have any idea how property management works and home maintenance so I think I’m against that, she needs help buying plane tickets managing a house in California while she lives in Puerto Rico seems not smart, especially since she’s never lived here in California. His dad told me that he thinks his son would not want to burden anyone and would sell and do the trust, so I agree. He knows him better than anyone. Her personal lawyers office said they would send me a form nominating his mom as executor. I have googled what it means and it sounds like she would have complete control of everything. I am not going to sign it and I want to contact the mortgage company myself but she told me she wouldn’t provide the information of who he has his loan through our account info because it’s not my business. I don’t even know who would contact me or if anyone would since he’s passed. She said she doesn’t have a death certificate so I’m kind of confused. Everything is happening so quickly but I know my ex wouldn’t want her to be the one. His dad is too broken to really handle this but told me he wouldn’t sign anything unless I want him to. Anyone deal with something like this?