My Elderly Father With A Tbi Is Abusing My Elderly Mother. What Steps Can I Take To Help Her And Keep Him Away?

This is a throwaway account.

I’m not sure where to go with this, but my Father (77) has a TBI from a car crash he caused around a two decades ago. Within the past 5+ years, even with council and medication, he’s changed for the worse. He has terrible short term memory problems, difficulty keeping track of time, and has a hard time controlling his emotions. But within the last few years he’s become increasingly angry and can be irate very easily. If he doesn’t get it he yells and a demands and becomes verbally abusive. My mother (76) has recently told me that she wants to die because of the way he acts towards her. She has also told me that he begs and negs her for sex and doesn’t stop until she does. She has her own health issues which makes mobility difficult and painful. I believe he doesn’t understand what he’s doing. I want to keep her safe from him, but I know he cannot care for himself and requires help through out the day. They are married and have been for decades and their main income is their respective social security, I kick in what I can when I’ve got extra funds after personal bills.

I (37M) had to move back in with them when Covid hit, so I’ve seen his mental decline for myself. I help out with chores and his care when I can, but had no idea how terrible it has been for my mom and she kept it hidden very well. I want him to be separated from her and put in a memory care facility, but I do not believe their income can afford one. I want her to file a police report and plan on trying to discuss this with her somewhere safe as soon as possible, hopefully with my brother. What resources are available to help with this, and is there a specialized type of attorney we should look into?

We are in Washington state.