27f Feeling Stuck With Serial Cheating 27m Husband

A drained SAHM-

I’m a 27 F sahm who repeatedly gets cheated on by my 27 M husband and I feel so stuck. We just got married not too long ago last year and have 3 kiddos together. Before getting married I have found ridiculous stuff in my husbands phone which bothered me but he made this whole spill about how he’s changed blah blah blah (obviously it’s bs) but how does one leave this? When I tell y’all this marriage is fresh, I mean it but we hav even together for a while I’m just tired of this and know it won’t end it’s so bad that I don’t even cry over this stuff anymore because I’m used to it? I just got his phone password yesterday, i have legit ptsd from looking through phones so I usually resist but I couldn’t hold back tonight I had a feeling for like 2 weeks now and saw he was messaging a girl on 2/26 and then blocked like 5 Facebook accounts on messenger yesterday. How do I leave when I have literally nothing? I’ve tried to leave a while ago and this is so my fault for staying and lately I thought everything had been so perfect but apparently it’s not. I have no family (my parents are super unstable), no friends, no job, you name it! I also cant get into a shelter in my area unless i was being physically abused, I just really don’t think I can deal with this type of stuff anymore I’m pushing 30 and this is NOT what life is supposed to be like, this stuff makes being a good mom really hard when all I can do it overthink about what their dad does to me, im also diagnosed bpd so this doesnt help. I literally just changed my name 2 weeks ago to his last name and I feel like such a loser. Not gonna lie I am beating myself up for this because when he did do this in the past I actually moved out, but we got back together and I thought he was serious about our family. I do realize that I’ve not made the best decisions going into this based solely on hoping he’d be faithful, and I take accountability. Thank you if you read this far❤️