"need Advice: Behavioral Health Facility Restricting Family Communication – What Are Our Rights?"

We’re in a very difficult situation and are hoping someone here can provide guidance. We don’t have the means to hire a lawyer, so I’m turning to this community for help.

About two weeks ago, my son’s girlfriend—who has lived with us for the past seven years and is like family—started behaving very erratically. It was as if she were under the influence of a mind-altering substance, but we know for certain that she wasn’t. We monitored her carefully for a few days, hoping things would improve on their own, but her condition only worsened.

After discussing the situation with family members, one of her extended relatives decided to call the police for a welfare check, as we couldn’t convince her to willingly go to the hospital. Following the welfare check, she was taken to the ER due to self-inflicted injuries. The next morning, she was transferred to a behavioral health facility, and that’s where our real struggles began.

From the moment she was admitted, we’ve been completely shut out of the process. The facility refused to let us bring her clean clothes or personal medical items she needs, citing HIPAA laws. While I understand HIPAA is meant to protect privacy, I don’t see how that applies to family members simply trying to support a loved one. Protecting health information is one thing, but this seems to go far beyond that.

We didn’t receive a single call from the facility until four days after her admission, and even then, it wasn’t from a permanent staff member. A temporary counselor reached out for more background information, even admitting he wasn’t supposed to contact us. During that conversation, we learned she was still wearing the same clothes she had on when she was admitted—four days without a shower or clean clothing. It was only after multiple trips to the facility and hours of waiting that they finally allowed us to drop off her clothes.

After six days of persistent calls and visits, we were finally able to speak with a patient advocate. He mentioned that she had an upcoming court date where a judge would decide, based on the doctor’s recommendation, whether to extend her hold further. He also told us that she’d already seen a judge 36 hours after her admission, as required by law, at which time the doctor presented their case that she wasn’t capable of making decisions for herself. The judge ruled in favor of extending her stay.

What’s deeply troubling to us is that her family has been completely excluded from these legal proceedings. We weren’t informed of the initial hearing or invited to the upcoming one. How is it possible for the judge to make decisions about her future without hearing from her family? We are willing and able to support her and take custodial responsibility if needed, but without being involved in the process, the judge likely doesn’t even know we exist or that we’re advocating for her.

Is it legal for the facility to block family involvement in this way? Shouldn’t legal responsibility automatically pass to her closest relatives if she’s deemed unable to make decisions for herself? We feel completely powerless and worry that she’s being kept in the system without proper representation or advocacy.

Any advice on how to navigate this situation or ensure family involvement in these decisions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading and for any help you can offer.