Is Your Self-talk Causing Anxiety?
Are you a woman who struggles with anxiety and negative self-talk? Is the voice in your head saying things like:
- “I’m stressed out. I’m a mess!”
- “Another night without sleep; I feel terrible.”
- “I’m so overwhelmed! What’s wrong with me?”
- “Why can’t I just relax and calm down?”
Saying things like these to yourself will keep you in a constant state of anxiety, making you feel overwhelmed and worried.
Most of the time we are on autopilot, thinking the same anxiety-producing negative thoughts over and over. If your automatic thinking is primarily negative, you’ll be filled with anxiety and overwhelm.
What if you could sleep through the night and wake up feeling calm?
You can if you learn how to stop those anxiety provoking thoughts.
Here’s how it works…
First, Become Aware of Your Thoughts
Catching anxious, negative self-talk is the key. Noticing the thoughts your mind automatically starts chatting about is the first step.
After spotting the anxiety-producing thoughts, say to yourself, “Ah, I don’t have to think these negative, scary thoughts. I can choose to think differently! I have a choice!”
Second, Replace Negative Self-Talk with Positive Thoughts
Learn how to replace the negative, anxious thoughts with positive, calming thoughts like these:
- “I’m going to be just fine today.”
- “I’ve got what it takes to get through this.”
- “I can handle a bump in the road; I’ve done it before.”
By intentionally creating thoughts like these, you are choosing to be calm, confident and positive. Anxiety and pessimism melt away as you take control of harmful thoughts and turn them into positive thinking patterns. Overwhelm and stress subside.
This process of transforming thoughts is called REFRAMING.
It’s like putting a new frame on a picture. Take off the old, unattractive frame (negative thoughts) and replace it with a new, attractive frame (positive thoughts).
It will take a while to find the right new frame but when you do, the new, optimistic thoughts will produce upbeat, confident thinking patterns and feelings.
Let’s Look at an Example
Here’s an example of reframing a thought:
Negative
“I don’t like the decisions my adult child is making. What if something terrible happens? This is scary and I’m losing sleep over it.”
Positive
“My adult child is living his/her own life. I don’t agree with his/her decisions but he/she will figure it out. I can relax and trust the process.”
Did you notice the shift in tone? The change in thoughts you intentionally create makes all the difference.
Try It Yourself
First, think about something (a task, event, or conversation) you feel anxious about. Picture it in your mind.
Second, notice the anxious thoughts and images. Catch them. Observe them.
Third, replace the anxious thoughts with new, positive words and sentences. Say your new thoughts out loud. Repeat them several times.
How did changing negative thoughts to positive thoughts work for you?
This is not putting on a false happy face or forcing yourself to be positive all the time. It’s about making intentional choices to change a pattern of thinking that is causing you to have anxiety. The more you do it, the new thoughts will start to become your automatic thoughts.
One of my clients was overwhelmed with anxious thoughts about how she was going to manage a troubling relationship with her adult daughters. We worked on reframing her anxious thoughts. She got a whole new perspective on her family relationships and reduced her anxiety.
And you can do it too!
Reframing anxiety producing thoughts is one thing you can do to reduce anxiety but there are many other tools and strategies you can use.
If you are someone who is truly struggling with anxiety, check out my FREE video to learn more about How to Become Anxiety Free.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What troubles you the most these days? Does it keep you up at night? Have you caught yourself thinking negatively about this issue? How can you switch to positive thoughts instead?
