What Perspective Can Be Given To Assist A Woman To Work Through An Emotionally-charged Situation?

Hopefully third time’s a charm with posting this question (stop removing my stuff, Reddit ????).

I’ve (37F) been involved (36M) for a year and a half. Everything seemed to be fine… of course there were hiccups here and there, but nothing earth-shattering. He suddenly cut off all communication with me the day after my birthday. I finally heard from him a week later and he told me that me having a child (11 YO boy) is a dealbreaker. This came out of left field: my son currently lives with his father and stepmom in another state (we share custody and I have him for the summer due to my work) and we are all on good terms. I freaked out when he said that for obvious reasons. Told him that that is a REALLY big f$&king deal and that I wouldn’t have wasted my time if I knew MY CHILD was a possible deterrent. He back pedaled a bit to say that he’s been in past situations with a kid involved and it eventually doesn’t work out, and that he doesn’t know what to do because he’s never had such a strong connection with someone like this before.I left the 3 hour convo even more confused because nothing definitive was said. And, until this, he’s always been a straight shooter with me no matter the subject. But, I also made up my mind to move on because uncertainty is an answer.

There was no warning. He’s known about my child since the first time we met, so it’s not like I sprung it up on him. I’m a good mother, well-educated, have a good job, kind, and attractive/in shape. I don’t have any drama whatsoever going on in my life. I don’t understand what it is about me that’d make him wait a year-and-a-half to say this.

Fast forward to yesterday. My car broke down two hours away from the city we live in— like all of a sudden lost power steering/smoke pouring from under the hood breakdown. I honestly thought my car was going to blow up. I had to swallow my pride and call him for advice on what to do b/c he’s a savant when it comes to anything car-related. Three hours later he shows up with a trailer to tow my car back home. He’s going to take a look at it to see what can be done.. has already looked up purchasing a new motor.

I guess I just don’t understand how all of these things are co-existing in one space. I made up my mind to have absolutely no contact prior to the whole car thing. Now I don’t know what to do. I believe he’s my ‘person’ but I am not in the business of trying to change a man’s mind. I guess im just looking for different perspectives. I’m genuinely lost